PEACE with Anxiety Podcast Episode 9
In this episode, join me as we explore the causes, symptoms, and consequences of burnout, delving into its various manifestations through the lens of four distinct types of women: the Over-Achiever, the Over-Doer, the Over-Giver, and the Over-Thinker. Each type embodies different tendencies and behaviours that can lead to burnout. Join me as we uncover the hidden layers beneath each type, exploring the underlying fears, desires, and vulnerabilities that drive these patterns of behaviour. Along the way, I will offer practical strategies and tips tailored to each type, empowering you to take proactive steps towards preventing burnout and fostering a healthier, more balanced lifestyle. Finally, I share this week's practice, so grab a pen and paper and let's dive into some reflective questions to help you navigate your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Listen as I talk about:
Understanding the causes and symptoms of burnout
Exploring the unique characteristics of the Over-Achiever, Over-Doer, Over-Giver, and Over-Thinker
Uncovering the underlying fears and desires driving each type
Practical strategies for preventing burnout tailored to each type
Reflective questions to help you identify your own patterns and tendencies
Click play to listen below:
Understanding the causes and symptoms of burnout
So, what causes burnout? Well, it's usually a mix of things—like chronic stress from work, relationships, or just life in general. Maybe you've got too much on your plate, or you feel like you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast. Sound familiar? The signs of burnout can sneak up on you, too. It might start with feeling tired all the time, or maybe you're just not as excited about things as you used to be. You might find yourself snapping at people more often, or maybe you just can't seem to concentrate on anything. It's like your body and mind are trying to tell you, "Hey there, slow down!".
So here are a few general symptoms of burnout.
Persistent fatigue,
low energy levels,
headaches,
muscle tension,
gastrointestinal problems,
Feelings of apathy, cynicism, and detachment.
A sense of emotional numbness or disconnection from your work and personal life.
Feeling more irritable, impatient, or resentful in your interactions with others.
Lost interest in work or activities that were once enjoyable.
You may take more frequent sick days from work and seek ways to avoid any stressors.
Consequences of Burnout on:
Physical health by increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and immune system dysfunction. Burnout can impair cognitive functioning and decision-making abilities so You may struggle to meet deadlines, make more mistakes, and forget things more often.
Relationships: It can strain relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members as you become more withdrawn or prone to conflicts and misunderstandings.
Career: It can lead you to question your career choices, professional goals but also personal goals.
Exploring the unique characteristics of the Over-Achiever, Over-Doer, Over-Giver, and Over-Thinker
Over-Achiever, driven by an insatiable thirst for excellence, constantly pursues the next goal. Setting impossibly high standards for yourself, whether it's your career, relationships, or personal goals. You pursue your goals with unwavering determination and dedication, often working long hours and sacrificing fun time to achieve success. You strive to meet or exceed expectations at all costs.
Over-Doer, always juggling a million tasks, fueled by a fear of missing out and a need to please everyone around her. Have you been feeling swamped with work or other responsibilities but you agree to take on yet another task because you can't bear to disappoint anyone? Do you take on way too much? Do you struggle to say no, to delegate tasks, yet you feel overwhelmed by your workload? Then, you might relate more to the over-doer type.
Over-Giver, the selfless soul who puts everyone else's needs above her own. Think about a time when you put everyone else's needs before your own, saying yes to every favour or commitment, even though you knew it would leave you drained and exhausted. You are the one who constantly puts others over yourself, you struggle to set boundaries and you say yes to every request, even when it doesn’t make sense for you.
Over-Thinker, caught in a never-ending cycle of rumination and indecision, is unable to quiet her mind. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of overthinking, unable to make a decision because you're afraid of making the wrong choice? It's like your mind just won't shut off, no matter how hard you try. Are you stuck in a cycle of constant rumination, excessive worry, and indecision? Do you spend hours analyzing every situation from every angle, unable to quiet your racing thoughts? Then you are definitely an overthinker.
Uncovering the underlying fears and desires driving each type
The Over-Achiever:
Have you noticed maybe lately that You've been working on a project for weeks, pouring over every detail, afraid to miss even the smallest thing? Despite your exhaustion, you keep pushing, fearing that any mistake could cost you your success. Does that sound familiar? You might relate to this type if you are constantly driven by a need for excellence and success.
Behind your relentless pursuit lies a fear of failure, that in most cases is rooted in your belief that your self-worth is tied to your achievements. Therefore, Every task becomes a measure of your competence, and any deviation from perfection is perceived as a personal shortcoming. So despite your outward success, you carry an immense weight of pressure and self-doubt, and you may feel unable to celebrate your accomplishments. You believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable so you investigate every detail and strive for flawless execution in everything you do. You find it hard to switch off and relax, constantly feeling the need to be productive or work towards your goals. Beneath the face of confidence lies a core need to feel worthy, to feel important and enough.
The Over-Doer:
Beneath this constant busyness lies a longing for acceptance and belonging. You may be driven by a fear of missing out or disappointing others, so you habitually take on more than you can handle, hoping to prove your value through your actions. If you Say no, it feels like rejecting the very relationships you cherish, so you sacrifice your own well-being to maintain a sense of connection. However, despite your efforts, you find yourself drowning in an endless sea of tasks, unable to prioritize your own needs. Beneath this mask of productivity and business, well usually lies a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. Your fear of missing out on opportunities, experiences, or relationships, leads you to say yes to every request or invitation that comes your way. You have a strong desire to please others and fear disappointing them or letting people down. This fear drives you to take on more than you can handle in an effort to meet everyone's expectations. Entrusting tasks to others is challenging for you, because you may worry that others won't meet your standards and expectations or you fear losing control over the outcome. You need to know that something is going to get done, so you may develop workaholic tendencies, finding it difficult to disconnect from work even during fun times. And, Setting boundaries is a challenge for you, because you may feel guilty or selfish for prioritizing your own needs over others.
The Over-Giver:
You are incredibly selfless, always willing to lend a helping hand or offer support to those in need. Which is a beautiful thing, unless Saying no is a struggle for you. So you say yes because you don’t want to disappoint or let others down. Boundaries are often blurred or nonexistent for you, as you may put others' needs first and neglect your own. You may feel drained or depleted, with little energy left for self-care after spending time with others. But you keep helping others because you believe that your self-worth is equal to your ability to be of service. And this selflessness stems from a deep desire to alleviate the fear of being left alone. So you find purpose and fulfilment in helping those around you, often at the expense of your well-being. Because Saying no feels like you are abandoning those who rely on you, you suppress your own needs to meet the demands of others. And despite this altruism, you feel exhausted and somewhat resentmentful, because you silently long for someone to return this care and kindness to you, without having to ask for it. Beneath this mask of strength, lies a vulnerable heart, that craves for the same compassion and support she freely gives to others.
The Over-Thinker:
You tend to dwell on past events or mistakes, replaying them in your mind and fixating on what you could have done differently. You also experience a constant sense of anxiety and worry, fretting over potential future outcomes or worst-case scenarios. Making quick decisions can be paralyzing for you, as you need to weigh every possible option and outcome before coming to a conclusion. This tendency to overanalyze can lead to analysis paralysis, where you become stuck in a state of indecision and unable to move forward. So this constant processing, makes you feel drained and overwhelmed. In your case, Beneath your incessant rumination lies a deep-seated fear of uncertainty and the need for control. Every decision becomes a minefield of potential consequences, leaving you paralyzed by indecision. You tirelessly analyze every detail, hoping to find certainty in a world filled with uncertainty. Despite your efforts, you find yourself trapped in a maze of doubt and anxiety, unable to escape the confines of your own mind. Beneath this mask of logic lies a sea of emotions, longing for peace and clarity in the face of the chaos of your thoughts.
Practical strategies for preventing burnout tailored to each type
For the Over-achiever:
Set realistic goals that are challenging yet achievable, allowing room for mistakes and growth without excessive pressure.
Practice self-compassion and embrace imperfection. I want you to start celebrating your progress and all of your achievements, no matter how small. Go back 5-10-15 years ago and start congratulating yourself for every challenge you overcame.
Set boundaries around work hours and fun times to prevent burnout. Your work will still be there for you whether or not you go out and have fun for an hour or two. And fun can be seeing friends or family, going out for dinner with your loved one, or taking some time off to relax and take care of your body and mind.
For the Over-Doer:
Start to learn how to Say NO. No to tasks or no to commitments, no to favours, just no in general. You know your limits and capacities so now learn that setting boundaries is not selfish but essential for preserving her well-being.
Let go of the outcome. Let others do something and trust in their abilities to get the job done. Trust that the wheels will keep turning, with or without you. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So do for yourself what you would have done for others.
Prioritize self-care activities that reduce stress and make you feel good. Whether it's exercise, meditation, or hobbies, just do it for you.
For the Over-Giver:
Practice Assertiveness: kindly and respectfully assert your needs and set clear boundaries with others. Saying no is an act of self-care and self-respect.
Schedule "Me Time": to recharge and bring the focus back on your own needs. Whether it's a solo walk, a bubble bath, or reading a book, just give some of your time back to you.
Seek Support. it's okay to ask for help, and care and lean on others for support when you need it. If they don’t offer it, then ask for it. You deserve it!
For the Over-Thinker:
Introduce mindfulness practices to help you stay present and reduce rumination. deep breathing, meditation, or journaling can be very useful for you to quiet your mind and promote relaxation.
Establish criteria for decision-making to prevent this analysis paralysis. So focus on the most important factors and trust your instincts when making a decision.
Set boundaries around information consumption, such as limiting time spent on news or social media. It’s going to be okay if you disconnect and prioritize mental well-being.
Reflective questions to help you identify your own patterns and tendencies
What patterns or tendencies do you notice in your behaviour? Take a look at your own actions and attitudes and try to identify any recurring patterns or tendencies that align with the 4 types discussed above. Consider whether you tend to exhibit traits of one of them or more. Are there any specific situations or contexts where these tendencies become more evident?
How do these patterns impact your well-being and relationships? Consider the consequences of your behavioural patterns on your overall well-being and the quality of your relationships. Do your tendencies towards over-achievement lead to feelings of stress or overwhelm? Does your inclination to over-give leave you feeling depleted and resentful? Take a moment and reflect on how these patterns affect your physical health, mental well-being, and connections with others.
What steps can you take to prioritize self-care and prevent burnout? Based on your reflections, think about possible actionable steps that you can take to prioritize self-care and reduce the risk of burnout. Consider strategies that align with your specific burnout type while addressing your unique needs and challenges. Whether it's setting boundaries, practising mindfulness, delegating tasks, or seeking support from others, identify concrete actions that you can incorporate into your daily life to promote resilience and well-being.
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Full Transcript
Hello, my lovely listeners and welcome back to episode 9 of the Peace with Anxiety podcast. Today we are talking about burnout—a topic that hits close to home for many of us. You know that feeling when you're just completely drained, mentally, physically, and emotionally? Yeah, that's burnout. Now before I dive in I want to thank you for listening to the podcast, if you’re listening on iTunes or on your favourite podcast app, go ahead and hit that subscribe button, that’s how you get updates about new episodes. I also want to let you know that you can access my free Facebook group called Peace with Anxiety, inside you will find Free resources on all things related to anxiety, perfectionism and burnout to help you master your mind. It is also a community of women who are all committed to supporting, uplifting, motivating and empowering one another, it is a place to learn grow and connect and it is where I share new offers and workshops. So if you want to join, head over to the group and join the amazing community and i will include the link in my show notes.
So, what causes burnout? Well, it's usually a mix of things—like chronic stress from work, relationships, or just life in general. Maybe you've got too much on your plate, or you feel like you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast. Sound familiar? The signs of burnout can sneak up on you, too. It might start with feeling tired all the time, or maybe you're just not as excited about things as you used to be. You might find yourself snapping at people more often, or maybe you just can't seem to concentrate on anything. It's like your body and mind are trying to tell you, "Hey there, slow down!". So here are a few general symptoms of burnout. Persistent fatigue, low energy levels, and physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal problems, Feelings of apathy, cynicism, and detachment. You may experience a sense of emotional numbness or disconnection from your work and personal life. You may become more irritable, impatient, or resentful in your interactions with others. You may have lost interest in work or activities that were once enjoyable. You may take more frequent sick days from work and seek ways to avoid any stressors. But here's the thing—burnout isn't just about feeling exhausted. It can have some pretty serious effects on your health, your relationships, and even your career. It's like a domino effect, with one thing leading to another until you feel like you're stuck in a rut. For example, Burnout can take a significant toll on physical health by increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and immune system dysfunction. It can strain relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members as you become more withdrawn or prone to conflicts and misunderstandings. It can lead you to question your career choices, professional goals but also personal goals. Burnout can impair cognitive functioning and decision-making abilities so You may struggle to meet deadlines, make more mistakes, and forget things more often.
You see, burnout isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. It wears many masks, and today, i will be talking about the 4 types of women who are more prone to burnout. The Over-Achiever, driven by an insatiable thirst for excellence, who constantly pursues the next goal. Then there's the Over-Doer, always juggling a million tasks, fueled by a fear of missing out and a need to please everyone around her. And Let's not forget about the Over-Giver, the selfless soul who puts everyone else's needs above her own. And last but not least, the Over-Thinker, caught in a never-ending cycle of rumination and indecision, is unable to quiet her mind. These ladies might sound familiar to you—they might even be you— so i want to tell you that if you relate to any of these types or with any of these symptoms, seek professional help. Now, I know that reaching out for help can feel a little scary or intimidating. But trust me when I say that it's one of the bravest things you can do for yourself. Taking that first step towards getting the support you need can make all the difference in your journey towards healing and recovery. So, please if you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or just not like yourself lately, I want to encourage you to consider reaching out for professional help. You deserve to feel better, and there are people out there who want to help you get there. You're not alone, i can promise you that!
Alright, So, First up, we have the over-achiever. Let me ask you a question. Have you noticed maybe lately that You've been working on a project for weeks, pouring over every detail, afraid to miss even the smallest thing? Despite your exhaustion, you keep pushing, fearing that any mistake could cost you your success. Does that sound familiar? You might relate to this type if you are constantly driven by a need for excellence and success. Setting impossibly high standards for yourself, whether it's your career, relationships, or personal goals. You pursue your goals with unwavering determination and dedication, often working long hours and sacrificing fun time to achieve success. You strive to meet or exceed expectations at all costs. Behind your relentless pursuit lies a fear of failure, that in most cases is rooted in your belief that your self-worth is tied to your achievements. Therefore, Every task becomes a measure of your competence, and any deviation from perfection is perceived as a personal shortcoming. So despite your outward success, you carry an immense weight of pressure and self-doubt, and you may feel unable to celebrate your accomplishments. You believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable so you investigate every detail and strive for flawless execution in everything you do. You find it hard to switch off and relax, constantly feeling the need to be productive or work towards your goals. Beneath the face of confidence lies a core need to feel worthy, to feel important and enough. Ok, that is a lot to take in, so let me now offer you some proactive steps you can take towards preventing burnout and fostering a healthier, more balanced lifestyle as an over-achiever. First set Realistic Goals that are challenging yet achievable, allowing room for mistakes and growth without excessive pressure. Second, practice Self-Compassion and embrace imperfection. I want you to start celebrating your progress and all of your achievements, no matter how small. Go back 5-10-15 years ago and start congratulating yourself for every challenge you overcame. Finally, set boundaries around work hours and fun times to prevent burnout. Your work will still be there for you whether or not you go out and have fun for an hour or two. And fun can be seeing friends or family, going out for dinner with your loved one, or taking some time off to relax and take care of your body and mind.
Next, let's talk about the over-doer. My question to you is, have you been feeling swamped with work or other responsibilities but you agree to take on yet another task because you can't bear to disappoint anyone? Do you take on way too much? Do you struggle to say no, to delegate tasks, yet you feel overwhelmed by your workload? Then, you might relate more to the over-doer type. In most cases, Beneath this constant busyness lies a longing for acceptance and belonging. You may be Driven by a fear of missing out or of disappointing others, so you habitually take on more than you can handle, hoping to prove your value through your actions. If you Say no, it feels like rejecting the very relationships you cherish, so you sacrifice your own well-being to maintain a sense of connection. However, despite your efforts, you find yourself drowning in an endless sea of tasks, unable to prioritize your own needs. Beneath this mask of productivity and business, well usually lies a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. Your fear of missing out on opportunities, experiences, or relationships, leads you to say yes to every request or invitation that comes your way. You have a strong desire to please others and fear disappointing them or letting people down. This fear drives you to take on more than you can handle in an effort to meet everyone's expectations. Entrusting tasks to others is challenging for you, because you may worry that others won't meet your standards and expectations or you fear losing control over the outcome. You need to know that something is going to get done, so you may develop workaholic tendencies, finding it difficult to disconnect from work even during fun times. And, Setting boundaries is a challenge for you, because you may feel guilty or selfish for prioritizing your own needs over others. Ok, here’s what you can do Overdoer to find your balance. First and foremost, start to learn how to Say No. no to tasks or no to commitments, no to favours, just no in general. You know your limits and capacities so now learn that setting boundaries is not selfish but essential for preserving her well-being. Next, i want you to let go of the outcome. Let others do something and trust in their abilities to get the job done. Trust that the wheels will keep turning, with or without you. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So do for yourself what you would have done for others. Finally, well if you have been following along, you probably know what i am about to say. prioritize self-care activities that reduce stress and make you feel good. Whether it's exercise, meditation, or hobbies, just do it for you.
Now, let's discuss the over-giver. Think about a time when you put everyone else's needs before your own, saying yes to every favour or commitment, even though you knew it would leave you drained and exhausted. You are the one who constantly puts others over yourself, you struggle to set boundaries and you say yes to every request, even when it doesn’t make sense for you. You are incredibly selfless, always willing to lend a helping hand or offer support to those in need. Which is a beautiful thing, unless Saying no is a struggle for you. So you say yes because you don’t want to disappoint or let others down. Boundaries are often blurred or nonexistent for you, as you may put others' needs first and neglect your own. You may feel drained or depleted, with little energy left for self-care after spending time with others. But you keep helping others because you believe that your self-worth is equal to your ability to be of service. And this selflessness stems from a deep desire to alleviate the fear of being left alone. So you find purpose and fulfillment in helping those around you, often at the expense of your own well-being. Because Saying no feels like you are abandoning those who rely on you, so you suppress your own needs to meet the demands of others. And Despite this altruism, you feel exhausted and somewhat resentmentful, because you silently long for someone to return this care and kindness to you, without having to ask for it. Beneath this mask of strength, lies a vulnerable heart, that craves for the same compassion and support she freely gives to others. For you my lovely, I would say the first step is to Practice Assertiveness: kindly and respectfully assert your needs and set clear boundaries with others. Saying no is an act of self-care and self-respect. Then I want you to Schedule "Me Time": to recharge and bring the focus back on your own needs. Whether it's a solo walk, a bubble bath, or reading a book, just give some of your time back to you. Finally, seek Support. it's okay to ask for help, and care and lean on others for support when you need it. If they don’t offer it, then ask for it. You deserve it!
Ok, Last, but not least we have the over-thinker. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of overthinking, unable to make a decision because you're afraid of making the wrong choice? It's like your mind just won't shut off, no matter how hard you try. Are you stuck in a cycle of constant rumination, excessive worry, and indecision? Do you spend hours analyzing every situation from every angle, unable to quiet your racing thoughts? Then you are definitely an overthinker. You tend to dwell on past events or mistakes, replaying them in your mind and fixating on what you could have done differently. You also experience a constant sense of anxiety and worry, fretting over potential future outcomes or worst-case scenarios. Making quick decisions can be paralyzing for you, as you need to weigh every possible option and outcome before coming to a conclusion. And this tendency to overanalyze can lead to analysis paralysis, where you become stuck in a state of indecision and unable to move forward. So this constant processing, makes you feel drained and overwhelmed. In your case, Beneath your incessant rumination lies a deep-seated fear of uncertainty and the need for control. Every decision becomes a minefield of potential consequences, leaving you paralyzed by indecision. You tirelessly analyze every detail, hoping to find certainty in a world filled with uncertainty. Despite your efforts, you find yourself trapped in a maze of doubt and anxiety, unable to escape the confines of your own mind. Beneath this mask of logic lies a sea of emotions, longing for peace and clarity in the face of the chaos of your thoughts. What you can do is first Introduce mindfulness practices to help you stay present and reduce rumination. deep breathing, meditation, or journaling can be very useful for you to quiet your mind and promote relaxation. The other thing you can do is to establish criteria for decision-making to prevent this analysis paralysis. So focus on the most important factors and trust your instincts when making a decision. And finally, set boundaries around information consumption, such as limiting time spent on news or social media. It’s going to be okay if you disconnect and prioritize mental well-being.
Alright for this week’s practice, I want you to ask yourselves the following 3 questions:
Question number 1: What patterns or tendencies do you notice in your behaviour?
So take a look at your own actions and attitudes and try to identify any recurring patterns or tendencies that align with the 4 types discussed in the episode. Consider whether you tend to exhibit traits of one of them or more. Are there any specific situations or contexts where these tendencies become more evident?
Question number 2: How do these patterns impact your well-being and relationships?
Consider the consequences of your behavioural patterns on your overall well-being and the quality of your relationships. Do your tendencies towards over-achievement lead to feelings of stress or overwhelm? Does your inclination to over-give leave you feeling depleted and resentful? So take a moment and Reflect on how these patterns affect your physical health, mental well-being, and connections with others.
Finally, question number 3: What steps can you take to prioritize self-care and prevent burnout? Based on your reflections, think about possible actionable steps that you can take to prioritize self-care and reduce the risk of burnout. Consider strategies that align with your specific burnout type while addressing your unique needs and challenges. Whether it's setting boundaries, practising mindfulness, delegating tasks, or seeking support from others, identify concrete actions that you can incorporate into your daily life to promote resilience and well-being.
Alright, As we come to the end of today's episode, I want you to take a moment to reflect on the importance of recognising the signs of burnout for each of you: whether you're the Over-Achiever, the Over-Doer, the Over-Giver, or the Over-Thinker. Because once you do this, then it’s going to be like having your own personalized alert system that tells you it's time to slow down and take care of yourself. By understanding these unique signals, you can become more attuned to your own mental and emotional well-being. And this is not about labelling yourselves, okay it's about recognizing when you might need a little extra support or self-care or time off. So, as you go about your day, keep an eye out for those signs and remember to prioritize your own well-being. Take care, and until next time, be kind to yourselves.